To shed or not to shed the footie pajamas

As I’ve grown older, I’ve noticed the depressing trend of holidays that once enticed me as a child, now slowly fading away into nothing, leaving small traces of their magic behind. These sprinklings of magic left over are only enough to cultivate a sad nostalgia for the enthusiasm I’ve lost.

image from thepioneerwoman.com

On past Christmas mornings, I used to eagerly bound down the staircase, anxious to claim my presents and give gifts of my own. Now, my only Christmas morning wish is to curl back into a ball in my fluffy, warm comforter and drift back to sleep.

Similarly, other holidays come and go without me even noticing. Recently, I’ve been searching for the cause of this strange holiday apathy. While I have not discovered an answer, I have found that others share my malady, and I’m beginning to wonder if it is simply a symptom of shedding my Sock Monkey footie pajamas and becoming an adult. If my theory proves true, then I might not be quite as excited to grow up as I thought I was.

image from itallchanges.com

Don’t worry, I still haven’t said good-bye to these yet.

Along with a greater awareness of the world that becomes clear when entering adulthood, we can sometimes lose the valuable perspective that childhood provides.

At the risk of sounding cliche, I’ll admit that I’m jealous of the fact that children have the unique ability to appreciate the simplest things in life. Their thoughts aren’t a jumbled mess of worry an discontent. Sometimes it only takes a smile to enrich heir entire day.

I still do appreciate the benefits of wisdom that typically comes with maturity, although I’m not old enough to have much of it. College is like an awkward, empty space between the spheres of childhood and adulthood. You can almost clearly see each sphere and all the benefits of existing inside of it, but you’re an outsider to each one. I can’t claim childlike wonder or adult wisdom.

I yearn for a balance between the life experience of an adult and the alacrity of a child. However, as a college student I feel like I’m stuck with the foolhardy ignorance of a kid and the jaded caution of an adult.

Sacrifice

After reading Cormac McCarthy’s novel, The Road, I’ve been questioning what it would take for me to sacrifice my moral values. In the book, a father and his son struggle through a post apocalyptic world filled with bandits and cannibals, where the only colors are black and grey. In order to keep his son alive, the father shows no mercy to any people whom the couple encounters.

image from sfsite.com

If I were in an identical situation, I am not sure if I could disregard others’ lives in order to preserve the well-being of a loved one. The ethical standing on this is highly debated, and as much as I’ve racked my brain, I do not believe I could give an honest answer about what my reaction would be to such a ridiculous situation because I can hardly even fathom the kind of emotional trauma I would be suffering.

I’m not sure if I could justify forcing others to starve to death in order to feed someone whom I care for. How could I flippantly place my needs and wants above the lives of those around me? However, I also could never imagine apathetically leaving someone who I loved to die a cruel and painful death.I would like to think that I would fight to the death to prevent that.

image from miamiherald.typepad.com

Looking from the boy’s perspective, if  I was causing someone to break their moral codes in an attempt to save me, I believe that I would prefer to die than to be the reason that they set aside their beliefs and ideals. To cause someone to rebel against the foundational structures of their soul sounds terrible. Upholding a set of morals is one of the key factors that makes humans truly “human.” There is a question that I feel is important to answer, regardless of whether or not you will be put in any kind of high stakes situation. Are the people you love worth abandoning your humanity?

Lose yourself

At times when stress surrounds me and I feel as if I’m buried beneath unmovable mountains, I always turn to music, trusting that it will carry me away on its swift wings.

To lose yourself in its subtle melodies is to escape from the tedious realities that litter life.

When anger wells like a geyser within me, I lay back, play an Eminem song, and let the frustrations of my middle-class, white girl problems flow from me like lava pouring from a volcano.

image from tumblr.com

Some make the mistake of assuming that listening to the “angry” beats of Eminem will pump me full of vicious wrath and violence. However, his lyrics actually do the opposite. They rescue me from the rage that ensnares so many victims. I listen to his music with a smile on my face and life in my eyes. When I’m dreading a daunting paper or workout, his tempos push me through the fear and spark my enthusiasm, igniting a drive to excel in the furnace of my heart.

Many judge Eminem’s inappropriate and violent lyrics, along with his jests directed towards other celebrities. Both of those accusations, however, only focus on such a superficial and small part of what his music really is. He does what most mainstream artists are either scared or incapable of doing– filling his work with his passion and personal life.

When the music stops, gravity tugs me back down to earth like a weight tied around my ankle, puling me back into a tossing ocean of eerie noiselessness.

I move about through the day waiting for a taste of the tunes that tantalized my tangled mind and brighten the typically dull landscape of perfunctory daily events.

Music can carry me to heights that would be near impossible if silence were my only option. It makes me feel invincible, unconquerable, and as if I could do anything.

A glass with water in it

We’ve all heard the old, “Is the glass half full or half empty?” question at least a dozen times. Supposedly, you are an optimist if you believe the former and a pessimist if you believe the latter.

While this is a decent method of dividing the separate modes of perspective, it does not answer the prevalent question echoing through many peoples’ minds, that being– which view is better, optimism or pessimism?

image from supernaturalsaturday.tumblr.com

Obviously, optimists tend to at least appear happier by always managing to discover hidden gems within mounds of misfortune. However, their positive thinking can sometimes act as a veil to keep them from seeing desperate situations for what they really are. This can lead some to a dangerously apathetic attitude.

Pessimists are never disappointed because they always expect the worst. They’re prepared for every worst situation, and they’re pleasantly surprised when something good happens to them. But living in constant negativity is a depressing lifestyle. If you’re always anticipating disaster, how can you fully appreciate the beautiful things that life sends your way?

Realism, however, offers a perfect balance between the contrasting positions. Rather than seeing everything in a positive or negative light, realists see things exactly how they are. The outcome of something may be good or bad, but regardless of what it is, realists accept their fate with open arms. There is a certain elegance about being able to see something for what it truly is, and whether the most brutal of storms regardless. They make the decision to acknowledge bad circumstances and the pain that comes with them, but maintain a consistent attitude of perseverance despite what they suffer.

image from feedio.net

Optimism and pessimism have their places, and some people utilize either one of these outlooks and it helps them. They may both have their merits, but I think I’ll stick to seeing the glass with water as exactly what it is- a glass with water, accepting things as close to reality as they are instead of twisting them into a falsehood.

“Money, so they say, is the root of all evil today”

Throughout our lives, one common saying has been monotonously repeated to us. This mantra has been ingrained into just about every moral tale. “Money can’t buy happiness.”

image from billboard.com

Even Pink Floyd has something to say about money’s corruption.

While this phrase may hold truth in some cases, over time it has given the pursuit of riches a very negative connotation. Although money itself is not the source of joy, you have to admit that you’d be rather miserable without any of it.

When falsely interpreted, some people come to the conclusion that money can, in fact, only bring misfortune. I believe that the only case where currency can cause calamity is when you become consumed with it. In the hands of someone with a little self control, money can be used as a tool to benefit them and others for the better.

I would say, and I’m sure many would agree, that when finances are tight and you’re having trouble paying your bills, stress becomes and ever-present, unwanted visitor.

Having the money to make payments and provide other necessities relieves heaps of stress and consequentially makes it much easier to achieve a higher level of happiness. If you’re not constantly stressing about paying off your college loans, you’re going to have more time for hobbies and people that make you happy.

I’m definitely not saying that monetary gain is more important than, or even equal to, other aspects of life. And, obviously, it has the potential to become a black hole of greed, sucking up every meaningful thing in your life and replacing it with a bottomless hunger for more. However, it’s not imminent. You get a choice in how it affects you.

Money only gets its value from the significance that we place on it. If we treat it as a horrendous beast, enveloping all of our emotions and relationships, then it will manifest as that. But, if we treat it as something to help us accomplish our dreams, it can transform into a great tool.

Shallow Brains

In an attempt to avoid seeming shallow when it comes to dating, people often claim that they are looking for a partner with intelligence rather than good looks. They proudly claim that they’re not shallow because they can see past what a person looks like.

This may sound like the “right thing to do,” and it is a small step in the right direction, however, to me it seems like it is just trading one type of superficiality for another.

Sure, smarts have their benefits, but I do not believe that their value outweighs an attractive appearance. Brains and beauty are both fairly straightforward and ephemeral. As humans grow older, outer appearances always change and intelligence follows shortly behind. Instead of initiating attraction based on one of these factors, I believe that an individual’s personality should be the central component.

The Myers-Briggs Personality Test

Encased behind the guises of others’ outer appearance and intelligence levels lies what truly defines people and makes them unique. It is their personality. It cannot be precisely measured, ranked, or easily organized into categories. It is as original as a thumbprint and arguably even more fascinating. The most interesting quality of a human personality is its ability to captivate others completely, without relying on physical means. This, unfortunately, can also seem unappealing to people because there is no ranking in personality. Therefore, there isn’t any status or hierarchy that comes with having a mate who has a certain personality type. The lack of competition turns many away from pursuing character.

Despite how obtuse someone may be, looking at their character as opposed to their GPA could give you an entirely new perspective. They could have an irresistible sense of humor, an exuberant and irrepressible happiness, or a quiet and demure charm.

None of these qualities require any adept intelligence or breathtaking good looks, they are simply all about the true essence of a person.

Ultimately, beauty and brains fade, and all a person is left with is the core of their personality.

Monsters under the bed

Ever since seeing the acclaimed scary film, The Ring, I’ve acquired a soft spot for the horror genre. The movie took me two weeks of sleeping with the lights on, but when I made it through I discovered my addiction to being scared. However, as I’ve watched more and more of these macabre movies, I have also become very desensitized and therefore bored with most of these types of films. It’s rare for me to find a horror movie that actually scares me at all. In my quest for a decently entertaining horror movie, I’ve come to question what it takes to make a good one. There is some attribute apart from special effects and fake blood that distinguishes an amateur horror movie from an exceptional one.

The trait that separates cliched movies like Prom Night from renowned films such as The Shining is the scary, intangible quality of “the unknown.”

Fear of something we have no knowledge of is innate in human nature- it’s a basic survival instinct. This ingrained, primitive fear of unknown things is the single element in horror movies that can terrify me to the core. It’s that panicked feeling you get when you enter a dark room alone, or the reason you dread what lies underneath your bed, wondering what could be lurking below.

 

When in a room, quiet and solitary, with a darkness so complete that it’s tangible, my mind begins to distort the shadows around me into sinister creatures. If I get an identical feeling to this while I watch a horror movie, I know that the makers of the film truly understand the horrors that I crave.

While gore, CGI effects, and disgusting costumes may provoke a few startled cries, the alienation of the mind creates a scare that will haunt the psyche.

Trite romance

As a girl, I can always appreciate a good romantic comedy or other love stories. However, nothing is more detestable to me than movies that have a forced side romance.

When I pay $7.50 or more to see an action movie, I’m not exactly thrilled when a clichéd, unwarranted miniature love plot stumbles onto the scene. I want to get the most out of my ridiculously priced ticket, not be forced to endure the director’s awkward attempts at a “multi-genre” film. There’s nothing unique or interesting about the half-formed, formulaic romance that appears as if it were dropped into the movie at the last moment in an endeavor to appeal to a teenage, female audience.

The moment I spot such gaudy and, frankly, pitiful violations against the film industry, I condemn a movie to immediate failure. Although they are not typically transgressors, novels can be just as guilty as any movie when it comes to useless, artificial romances.

In order to purge this epidemic, directors and authors should possess enough confidence in their work to stand alone, rather than adding superficial substitutes. In direct opposition with their intentions, these distract from the heart of the plot and the natural flow of the film.

The saddest thing is that, in spite of several other excellent points in a movie, the clumsy, tacked on love scenes stick out the most. Thor had excellent action scenes and, rare for an action piece like this, great comic relief moments. However, that movie will forever be tainted in my mind because of the shallow romantic subplots. If they had cared to take more time to provide at least a hint of depth or relatability, they could have added a whole new dimension to the movie.

Their uncomfortable smiles reveal that they thought it was a dumb idea, too.

For now, I’ll sit back and hope that, after sabotaging themselves and their work, directors and other artists will have an earth shattering epiphany about the errors of their ways and decide to create stories independent of insincere love triangles.

Happy Lists

Recently, I’ve been watching a lot of zefrank1’s vlogs on YouTube. Each video provokes different levels and modes of thought. I highly recommend them because they’re both thoughtful and funny.

One of his videos, What’s on Your HappyList?, remained in the back of my mind after I watched it. It poses an important question, one that seems insignificant at first glance. What little things in life bring you small bursts of happiness? Moments so fleeting that you’d completely miss them unless you were looking for them. They bring an odd, but complete feeling of satisfaction that disrupts the monotonous flow of the average day.

Here are a few things on my list:

• Carrying a new book from the store to my car
• Meeting someone who likes the same, obscure book or movie
• Starting a new TV series on Netflix
• Writing with a new ballpoint pen
• The smell and anticipation of blueberry muffins while they’re still in the oven
• Planning projects or crafts
• Learning a new skill

All of these things are very simple, yet they bring that little rush of endorphin-fueled happy chills up my spine. After recognizing that these things do, in fact, have the ability to combat a crappy day, I’ve used this knowledge to my advantage. Feeling blue after a tough test? Go to the store and grab some bubble wrap to pop! My bad-day-fighting arsenal has expanded so much.

While it’s great to think of how these things can help me improve my day, it’s even more incredible to realize how this can help others. I’ve had the chance to experiment with my friends, and every time, their mood brightens when I do a simple act of kindness for them rather than when I try to make some grandiose, turn-that-frown-upside-down speech.

So, if you’re down in the doldrums, try sniffing coffee beans, finding constellations in a starry sky, or watching the sunrise. It’s shocking that, while these have nothing to do with your problems, they seem to be the perfect antidote.

 

Betrayal and False Hope

Okay, so maybe the title of this post is a little melodramatic. Especially because it has nothing to do with messy friendships, broken hearts, or serious emotional turmoil. Maybe a little emotional turmoil.

This post is dedicated to the false hope I had while waiting at an AT&T store on September 20th at 5:45 a.m.

I sat on the cool concrete, my back pressed against the wall of the building that held a great treasure captive within its walls. The GOLD iPhone 5s.

I had visited the same store the previous day, speaking with customer service to guarantee that they would be carrying the gold model for the big release the next morning. After putting my fears of not getting the gold to rest, I left the store feeling excited and satisfied.

While waiting in line, chatting with my friend, my ears perked up as a ripple of concern rolled down the line. I heard whispers that the store we were at would only receive black iPhone 5s’, in fact, no stores other than Apple Stores would be receiving the gold iPhone.

Surely not, I thought. I already covered my bases and the employees confirmed I would get a gold iPhone.

However, moments later, an employee slowly shuffled out of the AT&T store, nervously looking down at all of us.

“So sorry guys, but Apple didn’t send us any of the gold or white iPhone 5S’s.”

My jaw dropped. How could they do this to me? I got up early for this. I was angry for the next several hours, until I sat down for a moment and thought about my reaction.

Yes, Apple’s unpreparedness made me lose a lot of trust and respect for them. But, why was I acting like a brat because I had to get the ridiculously expensive and new black iPhone instead of the gold one. It’s a cliché example, but people are actually dying of starvation while I’m throwing a fit about what color of mini, portable, touch-screen, supercomputer I get to carry around. How pathetic.

It’s funny how the most insignificant things like this can give you the most clarity and perspective.

But I’m still not trusting Apple anymore.